A Parent's Guide to Understanding Emotional Regulation in Children at Every Age

November 20, 2025

Key Takeaways

Emotional regulation in children grows over time. Parents can help their emotional child manage feelings by modelling calm behaviour and patience.
Validate feelings and offer support. Teach children what they are feeling and why, using gentle questions, breathing exercises, and calm-down strategies.
Storybooks help children understand emotions. Spiritual books for kids, teamwork, friendship, and self-love storybooks teach empathy and emotional intelligence for kids.
Activities support emotional development in children. Colouring, sensory play, yoga, storytelling, outdoor play, and talking about feelings help kids regulate emotions and grow emotionally.

It is not always easy to understand your child's feelings. On some days, they are happy, and on other days, they get angry or cry over small things. Parents often wonder why the kids act this way. The fact is that children are still learning how to handle their feelings. This skill is called emotional regulation, and it grows very slowly with time.

This blog explains emotional regulation in very simple words, just like any normal parent would. No complicated theory. Just easy ideas you can use every day.

What is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation refers to how children manage their emotions. It is how they learn to calm down, control big feelings, and respond in a better way. It does not mean the child should stop crying or stop feeling angry. It simply means that the child learns:

What they are feeling, why they are feeling like that.
What can they do to feel better? Children take many years to learn this.

Even adults sometimes struggle, so we can't expect kids to manage big emotions perfectly. Emotional regulation forms a very significant part of emotional development in children.

Why is emotional regulation important for kids?

Children who acquire emotional regulation improve their ability to:

Making friends, sharing things, handling anger, talking about problems
Adjusting in school, feeling more confident and understanding others’ feelings
It also has a connection to emotional intelligence for children.
Kids who learn to comprehend and manage their feelings make much calmer, kinder, and firmer adults.

The Role Of Parents in Emotional Regulation
Parents play a big role in this. Children watch their parents more than one would think. If parents shout, kids learn to shout. If parents talk calmly, kids learn calm behaviour. Therefore, one of the biggest parts of teaching emotional regulation is through modelling it in daily life. You don't have to be perfect. Just try to stay patient, gentle, and open to talking.

Tips for Parents to Support Emotional Regulation In Children

All these tips are very simple and can be easily done by anyone.

1. Help Your Child Name Their Feelings

Many kids don’t know how to say what they feel. They show it through crying, shouting, or hitting.

So, teach them simple feeling words like: Sad, angry, happy, excited, scared, and frustrated.

You can also use storybooks to explain children's feelings.

Teamwork storybooks teach kids to share, cooperate, and understand others’ feelings.
Encouraging self-reflection is easier with stories on self-love, which show kids how to recognise and value their emotions.
Friendship storybooks help children learn empathy, communication, and how to handle conflicts calmly.

2. Tell Them Their Feelings Are Okay

When a child is feeling emotional, don't say "Don't cry" or "Why are you angry again?" Instead, try, “It's okay to feel sad.” “I understand you are upset. "Everyone gets angry sometimes." When kids feel understood, they calm down more quickly.

3. Utilise Gentle, Open-Ended Questions

Avoid saying, "Stop crying" or "Don't behave like this." Try these instead: “What happened?” “You want to tell me something?” "How can I help?".This helps them express rather than hide emotions.

4. Teach Simple Breathing Exercises

Of all the simplest methods to soothe an emotional child, breathing is one. You can teach fun methods such as: Smell the flower, blow the candle, balloon belly breathing. These little techniques help kids feel in control.

5. Make a Calm-Down Kit

This is a small box that kids can use when they feel too overwhelmed. You can add: A soft toy, colouring pages, crayons, a stress ball, stickers, and fidget toys. It becomes their safe way to regulate emotions.

6. Show Them How You Stay Calm

Children learn from observing. If you remain calm during tough situations, your child will learn the same skill. You can even talk out loud and say, "I am feeling stressed, so I will take a deep breath." “I am upset, I will relax for a minute.” This teaches them about real-life emotional regulation.

7. Remain Patient During Meltdowns

When children melt down, they are not misbehaving. Their emotions are too big, and they don't know what to do. Being patient really helps. You can sit with them, hug them, speak softly, and give them some time. Your calmness helps to regulate their nervous system.

8. Do Not Punish Emotional Outbursts

It is not helpful when a child cries, screams, or throws things to punish them. They are not doing it on purpose. They just cannot control that feeling. Teach them, not punish them. Explain things after they calm down, not in the middle of the meltdown.

9. Keep Daily Routines Simple and Regular

Children find predictability comforting, as it helps them feel safe. Try to keep routines regular: rise times, meal times, school routines, playtime, and sleep schedule. This reduces stress levels and increases emotional stability.

10. Create a Calm Corner at Home

Create a nook of sorts with a pillow, soft lighting, or even books. This is not a "punishment corner". This will be a place where kids can retreat when they are tired and want to be alone, a safe space for them. A quiet corner helps children to regulate themselves emotionally.

11. Allow Ample Physical Activity

Children release energy through movement. Physical activity helps manage big emotions. Activities such as running, cycling, playing outside, dancing, yoga, and jumping all help children regulate their emotions better.

How Storybooks Help Kids Understand Emotions

Storybooks are among the finest ways through which kids can learn about emotions. Through stories, children learn:

What emotions feel like
How characters handle big feelings.
That people are sad, angry, scared, or happy, too.
How to solve problems
How to understand others’ emotions

Storybooks are a wonderful way for children to understand emotions. You can include spiritual books for kids, like Krishna storybook for kids or Lord Ganesha storybook with pictures, to combine learning about feelings with cultural stories. Simple mythological storybooks for kids, including the best Ramayana storybooks for kids and Maa Durga storybooks in simple language, help children relate to characters handling big emotions. You can mix spiritual and value-based storybooks for a balanced reading routine. These books teach values, kindness, and emotional strength through simple stories.